Friday, September 10, 2010

Facebook Commentary: Masters of the Universe

Commentary for Masters of the Universe flick. Oh yeah... I like it like dat!


Carl Towns Fuck Nostalgia Critic, Masters of the Universe!
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.
-Pedro Sambrano LMFAO!!!
-Pedro Sambrano This may be the best opening to a film commentary I've ever read in my life!!!

Carl Towns
Ah, Cannon films... you went out of business. How sad.

Carl Towns There's the narrator. With the one scene of actual Grayskull castle. ugh oh... "the Power to be... the Masters of the Universe!"
-Pedro Sambrano That's the kind of power I want.

Carl Towns Skeletor bitches! played by Oscar nominated actor Frank Langella. he's also played Sherlock Holmes and Dracula. many iconic turns for this man.
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns Here's He-Man. Totally not gay in his black, armored underwear.
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns
He's just styling and profiling like his name was Ric Flair! WHOO!
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns Gwildor... fuck you!
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Carl Towns The actor who played Gwildor, Billy Barty was nominated for a Razzie for worst supporting actor in 1988. I don't like the character but come on. Its not his fault his mouth only partly moves. It's 80's make up.

Carl Towns

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Carl Towns Prior to production starting, I had added an entire sequence involving the caves beneath Grayskull where the Snakemen have come in order to help defeat Grayskull, joining with Skeletor. The heroes are dragged into the tunnels and a lot of action takes place amid the tension of them trying to escape from the caverns.-Director

Carl Towns ‎"The best New Gods movie, IMHO, is ´Masters of the Universe´. I even corresponded with the director, who told me this was his intent, and that he had tried to get [Jack] Kirby to do the production designs, but the studio nixed it.

Carl Towns ‎"Check it out. It requires some bending and an occasional sex change (Metron becomes an ugly dwarf, The Highfather becomes the Sorceress), but it's an amazingly close analog, otherwise. And Frank Langella's Skeletor is a dandy Darkseid!"-John Byrne, comic artist/writer

Carl Towns ‎"As the director of Masters of the Universe, it was a pleasure to see that someone got it. Your comparison of the film to Kirby’s New Gods was not far off."-The Director

Carl Towns Brian Cronin, author of the "Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed" column, concludes that "the film itself was not intended to be literally a reworked Fourth World, although the intent WAS to make the film a tribute to Jack Kirby - just a tribute to ALL of his work, not just the
Fourth World."

Carl Towns I'm just stealing from Wiki now.
By the way, they're jumping through the gate and prepping for the upcoming battle before Skeletor uses the key.

Carl Towns I must posses all or I posses nothing-Skeletor, great philosopher of our time.
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns

-Carl Towns By famous artist Mobius, character design from the movie.

Carl Towns Check it. Good character designs for the movie.

-Be Randy tattoo worthy....
-Carl Towns Yes. It is.

Carl Towns Enter Courtney Cox in her finest role ever. EVER!
-Pedro Sambrano LMFAO!!! I thought she was good in Ace Ventura
-Carl Towns ‎2nd best role! Though I kinda like her new show. Its given me my new favorite quote: Bitches be loco.
-Pedro Sambrano Is this Cougartown?
-Carl Towns yes. Kind of funny. The first episodes were pretty lame though.

Carl Towns Kevin Corrigan, the other annoying earthling has done some TV and directing. But who cares? bring on He-Man and Skeletor!
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns Mattel, the owners of He-Man, fought with the designer William Stout on various design issues. Plus the director had to juggle their rules with the directives of Cannon. That happened to be starting their descent in bankruptcy at the time.

Carl Towns Ooooh! Ribs... I usually like Teela but vegetarian Teela is a tad annoying.

Carl Towns Well, truthfully, while the actress is fine I wish they would hired a more curvaceous redhead for the part.

Carl Towns


Carl Towns About to play some Key music. With all the cool, shiny, bright colors. Fuck yeah! So far, totally not gay.
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns Reminder, Teela is man-At-Arms adopted daughter and her real mother is actually the Sorceress.

Carl Towns Why is it that a character named Carl is always lame in movies? Right? It sucks. Can't their be a hero named Carl? At least once? AT LEAST ONCE HOLLYWOOD!
-Christine Schoch Sterndorff-Jessen what about aqua team hunger force? and theres never a character named christine, period!
-Carl Towns Carl on Aqua Teen is lame too.
-Pedro Sambrano The best you'll ever get is Carl Winslow.

Carl Towns Here's Beastman and the other no-ready-for-cartoon players. Blade? Saurod? Kang? Where's Tri-Klops of Trap Jaw? Even Merman?

Carl Towns Dolph Lundgren in tight short black underwear and wearing a cape. Whats so gay about that?

Carl Towns Julie Weiss, my costume designer, called me in a panic from a fitting with Dolph. He was insisting on wearing these kick boxing boots that were cut mid-lower leg. I immediately drove over to the fitting. I looked at Dolph in the short boots.

Carl Towns I told him they looked just terrific, except for the fact that they made him look rather effeminate.
Whoosh! Off came the short boots; on went the tall boots. The boots were never an issue again.

Carl Towns She-Ra was in an early draft of the film.

Carl Towns Whats the connection between He-Man and Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap? Scotts married to live-action Teela.

Carl Towns Information on the true creator of He-Man.

Carl Towns Okay, Gwildors car is a little gay. I just don't think guys should drive pink cars. I'm sorry. Unless you're gay. than perfectly acceptable. You have to have a certain about of FABULOUS to do it right.
-Pedro Sambrano What about Pinky from Next Friday or The Honky Tonk Man? Both drive Pink Cadillacs.
-Carl Towns Some people can pull it off. most can't.

Carl Towns Skeletor looking longingly into Evil-Lyns eyes. A little sexy!

Carl Towns I'm not in a giving phase this day! BAM! Saurod dies!
Mainly keeping to new villains so they don't have to worry about killing them.

Carl Towns
Good stuff here.

Carl Towns The director created Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Universe. Thats going back to my childhood.

Carl Towns
He-Man 2 aka Cyborg starring Van Damme. I just bought a triple feature with him for 5 bucks. bad movies? We'll see.

Carl Towns
Now everyone's scrambling for the Key. Fight scenes coming up.

Carl Towns Okay, Gwildor-you look real gay.

Carl Towns Okay, He-Man, Teela, and Man-At-Arms walks into a music store. not gay. Simply a rock band who need some instruments.
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns The robot troopers were used so that they could get killed. You know, because He-Man doesn't kill things with feelings.

Carl Towns BAM! BANG! BOOM!
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Carl Towns Evil-Lyn uses the chicks dead mother to get what she wants. Because Evil-Lyn is a big fucking bitch.

Carl Towns Evil-Lyn, played by Meg Foster who was also in They Live. Which is a fucking masterpiece.

Carl Towns Oh shit, Skeletors in town. Hide bitches!
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns He-Man just jacked a mans ride! No he's doing some fly by shootings!
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns Dolph Lundgren was the first to be cast in the film and Frank Langella was the last to be cast. Stallone was offered the role of He-Man originally.

Carl Towns For the miniature shots set on earth, the special effects men at Boss Film Studios reused some buildings left over from Blade Runner (1982) and Ghost Busters (1984) to fill out the background.

Carl Towns There is a scene included that is not in the film. After the final battle, the Sorceress shows Man at Arms the ancient artifacts of Castle Grayskull and reveals one of the items as an American flag, meaning that Eternia is actually Earth centuries from now.

Carl Towns This was written out of the original script and changed, since Skeletor ultimately finds the Cosmic Key on Earth during the film. However, the alternate ending was used in the official "Masters of the Universe" comic book adaptation of the movie

Carl Towns Kevins about to save the day with some help from Gwildor. Or at least help a lot.

Carl Towns
Skeletors making his big, grand moves now.

Carl Towns He-Man being whipped by a guy in fetish gear. Not gay. Just kinda Roman.
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Carl Towns Alpha, and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die as I will be reborn.-Skeletor
-Be Randy and Pedro Sambrano likes this.

Carl Towns Skeletor is gold plated. Evil is now pimp.
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Carl Towns Skeletors spitting philosophy again and again.

Carl Towns Big battle happening here. Lots of lasers!
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Carl Towns I have the power Bitch!-He-Man for a new generation
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Carl Towns Closing fight.

Carl Towns Knocked the fuck outta Skeletor!
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Carl Towns Coming up to the final minutes. Back tot he boring earthlings.

Carl Towns Credits rolling now until the special ending.

Carl Towns I'll be back!-Skeletor rising from the ooze at the very end.
-Pedro Sambrano likes this.


Carl Towns
This is my fav movie based solely on the fact I've seen it more than any other movie ever. Really. Like, I swear, I once watched this movie once a week for a whole year after I had a tape copy.

Carl Towns It is indeed that ill. And I'm using ill n the urban vernacular that means good.

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